sit-ups | chair-lifts |
---|---|
100 | 0 |
Breakfast, lunch & dinner = December 2 |
Last Sunday of the
year... I wish it was the last Sunday I was spending here. Sundays are fucking
boring. At risk of repeating myself-- no
paper, no exercise period and shitty TV options-- not options-- there's only one channel, so if
you don't like it, too fucking bad.
The first show of the
day is a drama about a rural family. Like The
Watsons or Little House on the Prairie except
Korean and in modern times, but
it's so fake and shitty. If it were truly reflective of Korean rural life than the actresses, or at least one out of every three, would be Vietnamese Thai or Cambodian. They're
all Korean. In Korea, in real rural life,
one out of four women is a foreigner.
On this drama every single person is a Korean with a perfect upturned nose and double eyelid surgery. Where do farmers get the dough for those C cup
34 inch busts? Rice and soy beans must be
a lot more lucrative than I thought. These
farmers even have cows! Where the fuck do cows
graze in a country barely bigger than Vancouver Island, with a population of 50 million people? There's not a square inch in this country that
isn't, or about to be,
developed. The idea of Korean cowboys
on the open range is ludicrous. What open range?
There's another drama on
that's just as ridiculous. A girl is married to this guy after disowning her gambling,
alcoholic dad and doctor brother. The dad works
as a security guard at the office of the husband. The husband’s sister is also a doctor, dating the
disowned brother of her sister-in-law, and no one is aware of anybody else's
relationship to each other because they've never met. The doctor sister has never introduced her
boyfriend (the
brother of her sister-in-law) to
her brother, so she's unaware she's
actually dating her brother-in-law and the husband’s totally unaware that he's employed the father
of his wife as a security guard--
although after 20 episodes he's finally starting to suspect something’s up and the doctor brother has broken up with
his sister-in-law because he finally figured it out, but the now
ex-girlfriend (sister-in-law) has no idea why they split... I am not making this shit up. This is
an actual Korean drama. And of course all the actresses have the Gangnam nose, double eyelid surgery and factory standard bust
lines. In a city of 50 million people, the only group of people a family knows is one
other family, yet they don't know they're
all members of the same family... it's the stupidest plot I've ever seen. I
have to turn off the TV when it comes on before I turn into a deer caught in
the headlights trapped by the horror that is
about to be inflicted on my psyche.
It wouldn't be so bad if there
are alternatives like a cop show or sci-fi or
even sitcoms, but there aren't. Almost
every Korean fictional TV show is this kind of melodrama.
When they talk about the Korean wave or Hallyu, k-pop and Korean drama, this is
what they are referring to-- these
over the top melodramas that are over-acted with the same plot lines. The
men are always angry and the women are always pining after unobtainable men or crying about the men they have. And for some
reasons other Asians love this shit, especially Chinese men. All I want to do is gouge my eyes out slowly with a dull object.
On the flip side of the coin, Korean
must think we're all sex-starved criminals because the
only American shows they see are Sex in the City, Desperate
Housewives or one of three versions of CSI
or Law and Order and lots of Hollywood movies that are all fantasy by design.
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