Showing posts with label Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility. Show all posts

Monday, 8 April 2013

D-Day. The trip home...

took 30 hours.

I woke up on Monday morning, after not really sleeping at all. I was about to leave this place after 8 long months. There is no way to describe the anticipation I felt. All the other detainees in the cell were awake all night with me, eagerly anticipating it like they were the ones leaving-- living vicariously through me. The Pakistani didn't speak much English, but every hour on the hour he would proclaim "Hey Canada bro, 11 hours to go" or an hour later "Hey Canada bro, 10 hours to go"

I was told they would come to get me at 8:30. 8:30 rolled around and no one called for me. 9:00 came by, still nothing. I was literally bouncing off the bars of the holding cell. There were 2 groups. My plane didn't leave until late afternoon, so they held me back until the 2nd group. As usual, no one told me, so I sat there, my skin crawling in anxiety. Finally, I was called at 9:30, and it was a mad rush as I said my good-byes to the Indian and Pakistani and the Chinese and Vietnamese, and Thais, gathered my mattress and blankets, toothbrush and cup and books and pens and drawings.

With the rest of the group of un-detained, we gave up our mattresses, threw our blankets on a pile of laundry, and trashed the toothbrush and cup. We were led to the room that processed us into the detention center and were processed out. Won was changed into US$, cloths and bags were collected; I changed out of a prison uniform for the second time in 8 months. For the last time. I argued with the guards about what I was allowed to take on the plane and what was restricted. I yelled at them "When was the last time you were on a plane? What the fuck do you know? I came to this country carrying this stuff, now I'm leaving your fucking country with the same stuff. I'm not throwing out my paint or brushes, jackass." I yelled and screamed and made a fuss. They relented. I got on the plane with everything.

After we were processed, we were led to a bus and an hour long trip to the airport... in handcuffs. I was in a bus like you see in the movies, locked in a cage, why do I need cuffs? If some drug lord going to bust us out? We were taken to the back entrance of the airport to a special security area, where they did everything short of sticking a finger up my ass. Again, where exactly am I going to get the drugs or bombs to smuggle? Please tell me exactly how you expect me to hijack your plane...

Finally, I was led to a holding room for the next few hours while I waited for my flight. I had all my carry-on luggage with me, including my computer. Here, I surfed the net for the first time in 8 months. I checked my 300 + emails, and Facebook. I started writing this blog. I was still the only white person there.
5 minutes before my flight was scheduled to depart. They finally came to get me. Once again, I was nearly crawling out of my skin in anxiety. My fight was supposed to leave in 5 minutes. No one had the decency to tell me it had been delayed by 1/2 an hour.

They led me through the airport in handcuffs. When we got to the gate, the cuffs were finally removed, before all the other passengers had seen me. I was actually one of the first people on the plane. Preferred seating and boarding. While we were waiting to board the other passengers, I asked the flight attendant if I could get my passport. To say she was shocked to learn I was a "criminal", is an understatement. When she recovered, she assured me that yes, indeed, we were now officially on Canadian soil at Incheon Airport, and a couple minutes later, another flight attendant came by and handed me my passport. I was going home.
I was seated beside a woman who was subjected to my story for the next 12 hours. I hadn't talked to a "normal" human being in 8 months. This was the first woman, too. She was flabbergasted.

13 hours later, I was in Vancouver. My daughter skipped school to meet me. It was awkward. I hadn't seen her in 3 years. She had grown from a kid to a young woman. I didn't know how to talk to people after so much time amongst men or in solitary confinement... or talk to women... or even my daughter, who was both, a double whammy. She had a job (!?), she bought me lunch, and we went window shopping in the shops at Vancouver International. I marveled at all the books in English... and the prices I couldn't afford.

The parting was such sweet sorrow and bitter sweet. I'm a shitty father. Too late to dwell on that now. I've dwelled on it for 8 months, if not longer. Another, more private story I won't write about here...

The next plane was almost an hour late leaving. I got a seat beside another woman. I talked her ear off for the next 6 hours. We both started movies, but never watched them. Talk was much more exciting.
As we were approaching Toronto, I noticed that we seemed to be going in circles over Windsor, 200 Km south. Strange. An hour later, the pilot comes on the PA and told us we couldn't land in Toronto due to thunderstorms. We were also running out of fuel. It was 11pm local time. I'd been up since 8 am the day before but it was only 15 hours later in "real" time since I was time travelling backwards. In my real time it had been more than 28 hours.

We landed in Windsor, 2 hours behind schedule, and out of gas. The airport didn't have the facilities to refuel our jet. They mickey-moused a solution and we had enough gas to get to Toronto, but... the control tower had gone home for the day...

The pilots got on their cell phones and had to call Chicago to file a flight plan so they could take off again. A couple of passengers were actually headed to Windsor, but couldn't disembark because the airport didn't have the proper equipment. They had to fly all the way to Toronto, and catch another flight back to Windsor, but because of the delays, they missed the connecting flight... and I thought my life was rough. At least they didn't spend 8 months in a 1 x 2 cell in a foreign country. They got a comfy hotel room instead.

Finally, we took off again. The passenger next to me was nice enough to lend me her Blackberry so I could call my mom, waiting for me for the last 2 hours at Pearson International.

Almost 262 days + 30-odd hours late, I had finally arrived. I saw a lot of white people.

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Day 250 D-Day?

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~150100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = ?

This is it. The day of reckoning. By this evening I'll either be on a plane out of Korea or stuck in red tape for an undetermined amount of time. Let's hope it's the former, although it will probably be the latter.

That worked out like I expected-- actually a little worse. I got to all my stuff and repacked it in anticipation-- just in case, but there was no need. The immigration officer didn't speak English. He gave me a piece of paper with my rights, so I requested a lawyer as was my right and he refused. I asked to talk to my embassy. That was refused. He demanded I sign the documents but I couldn't read it and he couldn't explain it so I refused. I showed him my documents from immigration, a receipt for my visa and he tore it up. I freaked out. He just destroyed all the proof I had of my legitimacy. I refused to sign.

Five big guys showed up, handcuffed me and manhandle me into a van. The handcuffs were really tight. I definitely have bruises from that, maybe even some nerve damage. One guy felt like he was going to break my ribs as he sat on me. We drove to Mok-dong and they threw me into another cell, but didn't remove the cuffs. The pain was unbearable. When it was lunch time, they finally remove the cuffs so I could eat. Then they gave me an inmate uniform and finally, my books so I could write this. Now we're going back Hwaseong. I fucking hate that place.

Now I'm back at Hwaseong. I don't know how long I'll be here. I was able to talk to Z, but it’s too late to call my mother. Current population—13, I think. 1 guy each from India, Bangladesh, and Iran and the rest are Vietnamese or Chinese.

The food is shittier, but it's much nicer to be able to speak English to many people. I feel almost human again. Rwanda is still here, which explains why JO never got his books back. My voice is almost horse from talking so much. My daily entries should become a lot more interesting, now that I have other people to write about.
The Iranian is a political refugee because he's Christian. The UN people told him to go to immigration to get a visa and instead, they arrested him. He's been here 5 months trying to work his way through the refugee system, which is next to impossible here in Korea. Rwanda was supposed to be released in November and he still here because of the bureaucracy.

I was able to talk to T. He told me about another friend, a good musician and performance artist, who totally got screwed by the school hakwon system. No pension, no return airfare. Korea just made another friend. For every good story I hear about Korea, I could tell you two or more bad stories.

My guilty, white man, imperialist, colonialist complex makes me hate myself for talking badly about anyone because of race, but I have very few nice things to say about Korea and Koreans. The good things I have are all superficial things about the technology, temples or the beautiful women. Anything I have about people, society or culture is mostly bad. I wish I didn't feel that way, but my experiences keep reinforcing it.

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

(Day 249) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 154 D-2

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~150100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 5


This is it. The last day. Tomorrow, I will finally leave this place. Whether or not I'll actually be free, is yet to be seen. I won't truly be free until I'm sitting on an airplane, and I'm far from there yet. I won't be in jail anymore-- that's the main thing, but I'll be able to use the telephone and I will be at least one more step closer to real freedom than the 23 hour lockdown in solitary confinement I am currently enjoying.

I gave my playing cards that I made and all my extra pens to Mr Kim today. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to make the hand off tomorrow. I kept a pen, the highlighters and pencil so I could continue this diary and draw, if the desire strikes. I also kept the black markers in case my next destination is immigration and they confiscate my pen and pencil due to the metal content.

I've also kept the newspapers from the last few days. The detainees might appreciate some recent news. I've packed the books just in case, but if I go to the airport, I'll have to abandon them which I loathe to do. I'm not traveling around with 30 books or paying for overweight luggage. It’s so tempting to pay the $50 just to leave today. I'm so broke though, $50 could be the difference between being able to afford a plane ticket to Bangkok or being stuck here.

So, what have I learned after 250 days of incarceration? I'm a selfish narcissist, but I knew that already. Whoever holds the keys, makes the rules and no matter what is written or considered law, the only thing that matters is who holds the keys. It isn't about willing to do the time if you commit the crime, it's about how much money you have to pay everybody off. Just ask the new president of Kenya or all of my fellow inmates jailed for corruption-- and there are a lot of them in Korea. Just last week, the head of the Environmental Protection Agency joined our merry band of criminals and it won't be long before the Vice Minister of Justice himself is added to our ranks.

I had one last meeting with the warden after lunch. I explained my fear about being sent back to immigration jail upon my release tomorrow. I explained how it would be in everybody's best interest to drive me to the airport let me buy a ticket and leave Korea tomorrow night. He said he understood my predicament and he would make a plea to the immigration officials sent to collect me on my behalf. I will be released at about 9 am. I also got a receipt of all my expenses during my stay here and I have $100 more than I thought which is totally awesome. I'm still broke but not as broke as I thought. If I make it to Thailand I'll even have a couple hundred dollars to get me going. Finally I donated all the books I had to the prison. The warden said he wanted to read them and that he could lend them to other prisoners.

For my last night in jail the Korean national soccer team has decided to play a World Cup qualifying match against Qatar live from 8 pm to 10 pm. We got to stay up late and be entertained with something worthy of my attention. Go Qatar!

I notice in the paper today at a presidential nominee for the Fair Trade Commission has withdrawn due to a tax evasion investigation. There has to be a certain irony in that. So far 12 candidates have withdrawn or been eliminated due to corruption or questions about ethics. Yet, I'm the one in jail because I'm too poor to pay off the right people.

The game went into overtime but the prison broadcast station killed the broadcast exactly at 10 pm. This is the difference in cultures. In the West, this would have caused a riot. In Korea there were a few indignant cries, but it was pretty quiet. In the end, no one knows who won-- it was a tie when the broadcast was cut off.

Monday, 25 March 2013

(Day 248) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 153 D-3

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~150100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 4

I've been sitting cross-legged on a hard linoleum floor for so long, my ankles have developed calluses. I have one on the side of my foot, too. Scarred for life.

Unless I'm still here for lunch on Wednesday, this is the last time I have to eat that slimy seaweed soup. I never really had to eat it, but I've been given very little choice. If I don't eat it then I go hungry. They barely give me enough to eat as it is. How else would I lose six kilograms? All I do is sit cross-legged in a cell. My exercises don't take long and are hardly strenuous enough to warrant such weight loss. I even started eating rice when the new workers started a week and a half ago and I'm still hungry after every meal. So, the slimy seaweed soup gets eaten, even though it’s gross.

Trying to sleep through the night has become a Herculean task due to the anticipation of my release in two more sleeps. It's worse than waiting for Christmas as a child.

Sunday, 24 March 2013

(Day 247) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 152 D-4

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~150100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 3

I can spend my last Sunday avoiding all the terrible TV by reading yesterday's paper and the stack of books I have. Almost bliss. 3 more sleeps till freedom. It seems hard to believe.

It only took 33 episodes of a drama about rural life in a Korean small town (where, in reality, 1 in 4 wives are of foreign, Southeast Asian descent) to actually show foreigners as a part of the plot. None of them are major characters though. With a cast of at least 10 women, two or three should be non-Koreans.

I got a hole in my only pair of socks. I only have to wear them for another two days. I had two other pairs of socks, but they also developed holes last week and I threw them out after I had a shower, rather than wash them and keep them for one more week. I have a fresh, brand new, never-been-worn pair of socks, but I was saving them for Wednesday when I'm released. Fresh socks, underwear and undershirt-- new beginning.

Saturday, 23 March 2013

(Day 246) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 151 D-5

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~150100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 2

My last weekend and a good thing too, because I've almost run out of soap, toothpaste, shampoo and the batteries died on my electric razor. If I stayed any longer, I'd have to replenish everything with all the money I don't have... As it stands I can go without shaving for 4 days and the soap, toothbrush and shampoo will last until then-- but just barely.

The highlighter pens I used to color code everything have also started to die out on me. Again, they only have to last for more days, although they are so dry now even that seems unlikely.

Today is Billie Jean Day on TV. I've seen Koreans singing and dancing on TV to Billie Jean at least 3 times on 3 different programs. Those Koreans, they really love them some MJ. I wonder if they know what drug-addicted pedophile means? I don't care how good his music is, I never liked MJ much-- even though he was the first concert I ever went to, thanks to some hard work on my mother’s part by standing in line for tickets in the days before the internet. There's a certain irony that two out of the three performances I saw today were done by children under 10 years old.

On my last Saturday, the movie is in Korean. Thanks to JO, I have plenty of books to keep me entertained. No harm, no foul.

Friday, 22 March 2013

(Day 245) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 150 D-6

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~120100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 1

It’s Friday. Going into the weekend for the last time in this place. Current cell population-- 1 Canadian. It makes for some pretty boring days. The Canadian isn't much of a conversationalist. He's argumentative and always thinks he's right. He usually is, which makes him all the more annoying. Thankfully, most of the time, he keeps to himself by drawing, writing or reading.

The New York Times finally fixed the comics, but I missed 3 days of continuity. There's a notice that if I want to receive the missing days’ comics, I can email them. A fat lot of good that does me. If I had a fucking computer, I wouldn't be reading my news in the newspaper or writing this journal with a pen in a paper notebook.

I forgot that JO brought me even more books. I have 5 days left and six books to read. Even I can't read that fast, but at least I won't be bored for the next 5 days and if I get sent back to immigration jail, I'll have lots to read there, too.

I also got one last letter from my mother. Instead of writing her back I can just call her next week.

I read two of the books this evening. They were short.

Thursday, 21 March 2013

(Day 244) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 149 D-7

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~100100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 7

Less than a week! JO finally came to visit. All his grand plans for a charity event to raise money to spring me from jail all came to naught. Not surprising to me, but it was apparently to him. I'm well aware of how people perceive, like or don't like me. When he first suggested it, my first thought was “Good luck with that.” At this point it hardly matters.

I have never been, nor have I ever cared to be popular or well-liked. I never saw much point worrying about what other people thought of me or going out of my way to get people to like me. I'd be lying to say it didn't bother me sometimes, but it’s something out of my control. I can't make people like me and even if I could, I have no idea what I would need or want to change about my personality to make it happen. It is what it is.

JO also told me he's leaving for Thailand permanently on Monday. If I manage to make it there, that's good for me as I won't be going in blind or alone. I have to get there first.

I do know that the people who do like me and are my friends are some pretty awesome people and not because they're my friends or like me. Most, if not all of them, are artists, musicians, writers, intellectuals-- in general, free and creative thinkers. They are outstanding and extraordinary individuals and I am honored and humbled by them

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

(Day 243) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 148 D-8

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~120100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 6

1 week! I started packing and cleaning... And I’m finished. It didn't take long. I have 3 pairs of underwear, a pair of socks and an undershirt I've never worn. I kept them and intend replace the clothing in my luggage. I need to throw stuff out from that, too. I'm six kilograms overweight with my checked luggage and now I have more stuff to add with all my notebooks and sketchbooks. I need to do some seriously quick organizing between my cell door and the front gate. I also threw out all the winter clothing I had. It was only two sweatshirts and some long underwear. I'll never use them again.

All the paper I accumulated in regards to my charges and court also went in the garbage. I have multiple copies with my other belongings and when I get my hands on those, in the garbage they will go.
I'll give Mr Kim all my pens envelopes and playing cards when I leave.

This week also marks the last the last time I take a shower, here the last time, I have to eat that shitty menu and the last time I have to watch that crappy drama... Although I have to admit, I will miss the ending of K-Pop Star and the show that has contemporary artists covering classics. Guilty pleasures that have sucked me in, damn it!

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

(Day 242) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 147 D-9

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
~120100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 5

Once again, I was able to finish the crossword puzzle, whereas Friday and Saturday puzzles continue to elude me. Since I'm already a genius, you'd have to be more than a friggen’ genius just to solve those puzzles. Maybe if a bunch of us geniuses got together and took a crack at it, we'd have a chance...

The comics were also reprints from February 18th. Some heads are rolling in that office today. But maybe not, since today’s comics were from February 19th. What a rip off. I feel cheated since I've already read these comics a month ago.

I spoke to Z for a few minutes to wish her a Happy Birthday. We both had so much to say that we would both interrupt each other, then have moments of silence while we both waited for the other person to finish speaking at the same time and then interrupt each other again, as we both started speaking, thinking the other person was finished. It was very confusing. Start, stop, start, stop. Like two teenagers on a first date.

I was also able to portray my wish to be taken to the airport right away as soon as I was released next week to the guard, who said he would call immigration to find out. It's a long shot, but there's always a chance or maybe it's all a pipe dream. We'll see for sure in 8 days, won't we? However, so far nothing has worked out like I hoped, so it's unlikely that this will, too.

Monday, 18 March 2013

(Day 241) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 146 D-10

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
100100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 4

Happy birthday Z-- although it won't be "today" where Z is until tomorrow, so I'm jumping the gun a bit here. We're heading into the home stretch here. This will be my last full week. I'll be out of here next Wednesday. One more shower, one more weekend, one more boring Sunday, 7 more newspapers. It's hard to describe the anticipation. It's overwhelming.

Documentaries that show how stuff is made are awesome because you don't need to understand the language to understand the content. I watched two documentaries that showed how big clay pots are made on the mass production scale and how big bronze sculptures are made. Complex, yet so simple at the same time. One person is capable of making 50 pots a day or more.

That was the highlight of my day, other than the end of the day, which means only 8 left when I wake up tomorrow.
clean.

I was given a new undershirt, underwear and socks, toothbrush and toilet paper today, too. I had to laugh because I couldn't see much point, since I'll be gone next week. At least my underwear will be clean.

Sunday, 17 March 2013

(Day 240) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 145 D-11

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
100100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 3

Happy St Patrick's Day, to all you Irish folk. Here in this jail, that would be only me and I'm only something like a quarter Irish. I'm hardly Irish at all. And I have no green clothes. Either. Even amongst all my stored belongings, I don't own any green clothes.

One of the new inmate workers has some pretty impressive forearm tattoos. They are the same on each arm but mirror images of Koi or goldfish swimming in water. At risk of stereotyping (which exists for a reason) these are some serious gangster tats. First, because of the image. Fish, Tigers and Dragons are a common Asian tattoo and really, tattoos in general, are usually only on gangsters in Korean and Japanese cultures.

There are however, a lot of young Asians that have tattoos like Westerners and surprisingly, a lot of them are women. You'll see them on Asians who are mostly musicians. Women will have them on the back of shoulders or under the arm on the rib cage, where they can be easily hidden.

Anyway, this inmate has large elaborate traditional tattoos in a very visible location. Only one of them is completely finished and colored, but the kid (he looks younger than me) just screams “junior gangster.” He's either here on a drug or a rape charge. He's too young to be an embezzler and besides, you embezzle from the mob, you end up dead-- not in jail. I would guess drugs. Probably meth, since that's really the only drug Koreans get involved with. Popular with taxi drivers, students and bored housewives.

I have no self control, so Mr Kim has decided to give me one apple a day, so I don't eat the whole bag of apples all at once. I can't help it. Eating rice and kimchi at every meal leaves me still hungry. And I'm bored. Eating apples give me something to do and satisfies my hunger... for a short period-- until I eat another apple...

Saturday, 16 March 2013

(Day 239) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 144 D-12

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
100100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 2

I got another letter from my mother yesterday, so I spent the rest of the day writing her a small novel-- a novella, if you will, about not much at all.

It’s Saturday, so another weekend/ weekstart. Tomorrow is Saint Patrick's Day and Monday is Z’s birthday. More than a week, but less than two weeks until freedom. After Monday, I also have enough money to buy my freedom. It's tempting, but then I would be completely broke... but-- I'd be free... I've come this far. Probably best just to ride it out until the end. I'll need the money when I have my freedom, more than I need the freedom earlier.

Tonight’s movie is Iron Lady which is much better than last week’s train wreck with Eddie Murphy. I’ve seen it already though... Not that it really matters. I'll gladly watch it again, even if I have no choice in the matter.

Friday, 15 March 2013

(Day 238) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 143 D-13

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
1009090
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 1

Mr Kim gave me some more coffee, so now I have that for a couple of days... the weekend, at least. It’s hard to find much to write about. Nothing really happens. I have no drama between inmates because we never really interact and when we do, I only talk to one person because he's the only one who understands English. We talk about food and travel. Mr Kim has been all over the world.

I do the same things everyday and I've already written about that multiple times. Poor writing in Korea English language papers, poor acting in Korean soap operas and how many sit-ups I can do-- all pretty boring and mundane.

I started writing another book, but I haven't quite finished the other two books, yet. I don't really want to write much of this book by hand with pen and paper. I'll be able to use a computer in a little more than a week, and even if I spent 8 hours a day typing what I already have, it will take almost 2 months or more to transfer all my notes to the computer. And then all the time to re-write and edit before I'm ready to present it to other people, the long journey towards trying to get it published, either by a publisher or self-publishing and all the promotions and work involved after that... I may be writing this in 2013 but it could be 2014 before anybody reads it.

We got new inmate workers today, so yeah-- there's that... Now I have to train a new pair how to deal with the foreigner in cell 7 because we're also difficult to please with our sense of Imperialistic superiority.
The hardest part is the food. They have this misconception that only Koreans eat spicy food and it is way too spicy for a mere foreigner, so they have to give me these tiny portions of kimchi and yellow curry that could hardly feed a bird. I'm not even going to bother avoiding the rice, I need to gain weight anyway and 12 days won’t really do much. But give me bigger portions damn it!

Yellow curry is the weakest, compared to every other kind of curry, and kimchi is more sour than spicy. From my experience, it's the Koreans have a hard time with really spicy food. All Korean food is spicy, that's true, but it's all the same pepper that makes it spicy and the pepper itself is actually quite mild. I find Korean food bland because there's no variation between spices-- the curry is always yellow, peppers are always the same variety. I'll bet a Korean could barely handle a banana pepper or green or red curry. To make food spicier, they just add more peppers which overpowers the flavors of all the other ingredients.
I will not miss being asked if the food is too spicy or the surprise after at being able to weld a pair of chopsticks.

I just did it again... repeating the same subject-- this time, food. Exercise, bad TV, poor writing and food... Yawn. 12 more days...

Thursday, 14 March 2013

(Day 237) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 142 D-14

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
1009090
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 7

As predicted, I ate all the apples yesterday and only had one left today. I'll probably finish all the oranges today as well. I should eat more rice too. I'm almost too thin now and actually need to gain some weight. I just don't like rice. It’s so bland like starchy, mushy water. Unfortunately just water won't add any weight and I need the starchy, mushy part. Blech. First world problem.

I should be ashamed and thankful I have so much food everyday and here I am complaining about it. I wonder how many starving people would give up their freedom forever if it meant a decent meal 3 times a day? I think I would rather starve, but I've never been that desperately hungry. I've been poor and without food before but never long enough to become truly desperate. Would I give up my freedom? I don't think so, but would other people, who know of no other life but hunger?

If time could go any slower, it would be going backward and I would have discovered time travel. I read every single article in the paper no matter how uninterested I was in the subject... It’s remarkable how long it takes to read the business section. I've even started following stocks and exchange rates just for the hell of it. That Buffett dude has some really expensive stocks. Just one stock costs over $100,000. I'm assuming it's in US dollars. Samsung stocks are nearly the same numbers but in Korean Won, so in reality it’s about 1 percent of the cost. There. How much time did that take to write/read? That is time that's gone forever-- you'll never get it back. I hope it was worth it. It was for me.

I spent all day waiting for dinner. Not because I'm hungry but because it marks the time of day when everything winds down. The guards do the last roll call, the workers serve dinner and retire to their cages, the last two hours of some shitty drama are broadcast, the lights dim and I attempt to sleep through to the next day, which is one day closer to freedom. At this point I have “one more” left. One more Thursday, one more Friday, one more weekend, one more week. I can't make time go faster, so I hurry up and wait.

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

(Day 236) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 141 D-15

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
1009090
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 6
Sometimes my exercise routine varies very a great deal. I usually do 100 sit ups all at once followed by forty chair-lifts and 40 push-ups later in the day. My chest and arm muscles can't take much more than 40 reps at any one time. If it says I did 100 push-ups, I didn't do them all at the same time. At that time I'll do 30 chair-lifts, 20 sit-ups 30 push-ups 20 sit-ups, wash, rinse and repeat two more times, ending with the push-ups. That means I do 3 x 30 chair-lifts, 3 x 30 push-ups and 5 x 20 sit-ups. The bare minimum I do daily is 100 sit-ups 40 chair-lifts all in one go. I've been trying to get into the habit first thing in the morning but I'm lazy and sometimes I just don't feel motivated. Even then I usually do my exercises at some point during the day. I don't have anything else to do after all. The real trick will be to continue the routine after I'm released in two weeks.

And that's all I'm going to say about that. It’s been awhile since I talked about exercise. I thought I should give an update on this  total mundane subject just to be thorough, since this is has to be the first memoir about jail that totally lacks any sex or violence, in all of history.

Actually jail is really boring and uninteresting. That’s why there aren't more memoirs. They would all be “Today I woke up at the crack of dawn and stared at the wall until dusk. Then I went to sleep” and that entry would be repeated for the length of the inmates sentence... 25 years to life... and a journal with the same entry 9130 times would be pretty boring. It would be really easy to edit though.

Mr Kim gave me a bag of apples and a bag of oranges today. I ran out of coffee yesterday, so now I have fruit for breakfast unless I eat at all today... I've already eaten three to four oranges and to apples just for something to do not because I was hungry. The next 2 weeks are going to drag by so slowly.

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

(Day 235) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 140 D-16

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
100100100
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 5

It hardly seems possible that I only have 2 weeks to go. I hope I don't have to deal with too much crap from Immigration. I just want to leave the country as painless and hassle-free as possible, but I doubt that will be the case.

It took a little longer than last week, but my theory about the New York Times crossword still holds. Mondays are easier than the rest of the week-- especially Saturday. I manage to complete most of today's crossword. The highlight of my day-- doing the crossword.

Monday, 11 March 2013

(Day 234) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 139 D-17

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
1004040
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 4

While I'm writing for waiting for my newspaper to be delivered, I want to play cards, but I'm scared of getting caught and having my cards confiscated as contraband, which kind of defeats the purpose of having them in the first place.

Last night, I was caught playing just before the dimming the lights for the night. The guard shook his head and said no. I just looked at him with a dumbstruck expression and kept on playing. I figured the damage was done. He's either going to open the door and take my cards away or walk away and leave me alone. After watching me play a few hands as I consciously ignored him, he did the latter. That was a night time guard though. Perhaps he didn't feel like filling out paperwork for confiscated contraband.

Now, it's Monday and all the guards are rested and fired up with vigor from the weekend off, with newfound determination to exert their power over their little fiefdoms and lay down the rules of the land-- whatever the rules happen to be this week.

Meanwhile, I sit here bored. Debating whether I should break out the cards or not... waiting for my newspaper... or the TV... or a visitor, or letter to relieve the utter boredom that defines stir crazy in the stir.
That was close. There is an over friendly guard working today. When he arrived at work, he got his little clipboard and went down the cellblock checking his list and saying a cheerful hello as he went. His cheerful greeting announced his approach and I was able to gather the cards and hide them under my little table as he passed. Idiot. He may think being cheerful and friendly is endearing to the hardened criminals of cell block 7, but all it does is alert us to get rid of our contraband before he pushes his face up against the Plexiglas of our cell doors.

I've seen so many Korean dramas, I'm beginning to notice that the same actors keep reappearing lately. It’s like there is a limited pool of talent to choose from and they just shuffle between sets.

Sunday, 10 March 2013

(Day 233) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 138 D-18

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
100040
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 3

I was so busy writing mom and Z, I never read the paper. So today, I have something to replace the god-awful TV. I also wrote so much in my letters, I got nothing left here. My hand hurts. Weekend entries always seem to be shorter... I wonder why, since I have less to do and take up my time.

There is one show on Sundays that I enjoy watching. It’s a singing contest where popular K-pop stars sing the hits of an artist from the past-- usually the 80's or 90's-- and that particular artist presiding over the performances. It’s like Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber covering David Bowie songs while Bowie watches, except the younger artists will usually change the style. If it was originally a rock number, they might rearrange it as a ballad, for example. Then the audience votes for the artist and interpretation they like the best. Some of the performances are quite elaborate and I have a newfound respect for some of those K-pop stars. Some of them can sing really well. It's an interesting show.

 I wonder how well it would go over with Western audiences and musicians? I think getting some of the younger celebrities to sing would be hard with the clash of egos. The Korean celebrity culture is more geared to fun and group games, whereas Western individualism would see it as too much of a competition between egos. If you ever do see it on Western TV, you read about it here first.

(Day 232) Seoul Nambu Correctional Facility-day 137 D-19

sit-upspush-upschair-lifts
10000
Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = March 2

I got a letter from both mom and Z today, so I spent all day writing letters and not much else.

The movie was A Thousand Words with Eddie Murphy. How the mighty have fallen. How do movies like this get made? Who actually sees them in theaters? I only saw it because I was forced to. There is no way I would choose to watch it otherwise.