| sit-ups | push-ups | chair-lifts |
|---|---|---|
| 100 | 40 | 80 |
| Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner = February 5 | ||
My days are pretty boring. There's not really much to do to
write about. Sometimes, I struggle just to make shit up and pull some drama out
of my ass. The only thing I really think about at this point is “four weeks left”
and how every additional day makes that number less and less. After 7 months, 1
month doesn't seem that far away. But of course, thinking about it all the time
makes it seem much, much, longer.
I haven't actually left my room at all in two weeks except
to take a shower last Wednesday. The last time I was actually outside my cell was
February 12. Mr Kim fond of talking shit about everybody else, started talking
shit about me to some of the other inmates. I haven't talked to him since. I'm
not being petty; I just can't be bothered to make the effort. It’s too bad. I
liked Mr. Kim. I thought maybe he was different but he is not. A fair weather
friend, like most of the Koreans I've met.
I never felt this way about Korea or Koreans before I lived
here. I never gave them a second thought. They hardly existed in my little
world. All my opinions good or bad, but unfortunately mostly bad, I've
developed over time after living here for so long. I didn't have any prejudice
before I came to Korea and I would say I don't have any now. I'm not pre-judging
anybody. I'm basing it on years of experience and interaction—postjudice, if
you will. I feel bad thinking the way I do about Korea and Koreans, but
sometimes I can't help it. I've been screwed over too many times and have lots
of bitterness towards this country and its people. Maybe I'll feel differently
once I get away and put some distance between my present and my future.
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