| sit-ups | chair-lifts |
|---|---|
| 100 | 0 |
| Breakfast, lunch & dinner = January 2 | |
I can't complain about the food, I did that already. The
warden asked to talk to me today, so I went. He asked if there was anything at
all he could do for me, so I asked for my computer. He wouldn't let me have
that.
Then he started to tell me all the special options prisoners
have, like vocational training. So I asked to do that, but I'm not allowed
because I'm not a prisoner. Like everyone else. I'm here because I didn't pay
my fine. He asked why I didn't pay my fine to leave and I told him I had no
money because I couldn't work because he wouldn't let me use my computer. He
still wouldn't let me have it. He said all the other prisoners have smartphones
and if I was allowed to use my computer he'd have to let me let them use their
smartphones. I said not the same at all. I don't want to use the Internet. I
want to write, draw and read the things on my computer. I have 1000 books on my
computer. I have 8 notebook in my cell and 2 sketch books. I want access to the
books on my computer and to transfer my notebooks, so everything is on one
thing instead of spread out among several things. It will eventually cause
twice as much work for me since I will have to transfer everything to the
computer at one point anyway. I like to think that he almost considered it at
that point, but still no luck ultimately. I haven't shaved in a couple of days.
He said I had to shave because it was unsanitary. I said to him I had been
wearing the same pair of pants for 3 months, and he was worried about my “dirty”
beard? Then he complained about my long hair and I said if he tried to cut my
hair or beard I would consider that a violation of my human rights and I would
make a complaint.
I told him the guards were always mad at me for not
following the rules. I don't even know what the rules are because everything is
in Korean and no one spoke English, accept him. I sleep because I'm bored. I
can't watch TV. It's all in Korean, but I get in trouble if I try to sleep. If
I lie down because sitting cross-legged on a hard floor all day is painful, I
get in trouble. If I don't eat rice, I get in trouble. If I turn off the TV, I
get in trouble. There was nothing I could do that didn't get me in trouble for
breaking some unknown rule. And there is no independent method of communication
with the outside world, so they are fully capable of abusing their power and
authority and there is nothing I can do about, it since none of my friends or
anybody for my own government even bothers to check up on me. Thanks, warden.
At least you give me something to complain about today. I was a little worried
for a moment...
I watched a documentary on TV. There was a scene with a
foreigner with tattoos on his upper arms just like millions of other people and
they censored it. His arms were so blurred out, it made him look like he was in
an armless half naked foreigner on a beach... It was so distracting, it was all
you could pay attention to. It emphasized the difference rather than drawing
attention away from it. How are people ever going to learn tolerance and
diversity if we are intolerant of difference?
I saw another documentary that showed a woman who had
cerebral palsy and I felt pity for her. As I watched the documentary, my pity
turned to shame and pity for myself because this woman ran a theatre group with
other disabled people, one of whom she was married to, with a child. I felt
shame because I assumed she must have a difficult and poor life and although
her life was difficult, it was far from poor. It was actually rich with love
and happiness and my pity for her turned to pity for my own prejudice and
judgment.
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