Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Prologue Part I

I started writing this on November 15th, 2011. The first time anybody will see this will be months after.

I don't know where to begin. Do I start with my birth? Do I follow my genealogy that led to my birth? Do I start in kindergarten, elementary, or middle school or high school or college? Do I start in my 20's or my 30's or is 40 the new 50? I get so mixed up. Do I start from when I left home/my parents, or from when I left my country? If I had a choice, I would leave Earth. Not LIFE, don't get me wrong, I'm as scared of DEATH as the rest of ya. I just meant the planet. Wouldn't going to Mars be cool? Sure, it would be hard and dangerous and dirty, but DAMN, it would be cool.

So, where to begin. Now seems like a good start. She left in April or May (It's now Nov, 15, 2011). I"m not quite sure anymore, it's all been a blur. I have not been in a good frame of mind or been thinking straight. Again, the mixed-up mind thing. In the meantime (7 months), I got a roommate, sat on my ass, watched tv. .. when I went out, I got drunk. stinking drunk. blank drunk (oh, wait-- I had a job for Samsung for a month).
*To all those that encountered/are encountering me(I'm writing this in the Future!), I'm sorry. And-- I THANK you for putting up with all my shit. You boosted my ego when it need to be boosted from it's lowest point. It gave me the courage to do what I'm doing now.

So, what am I doing now? Today, or was it yesterday (again, mixed up)? I got some boxes. The junk in my room is now a little organized. I have things separated into piles of garbage, valuable garbage, stuff to sell, ship home (huh? where is that exactly?), and take with me.

I'm not used to a roommate. I'm not going to talk bad about him, he's lived alone-- I've lived with a woman. Our ideas of cleanliness are different, and we'll leave it at that. Chris is a good guy. He try's hard.

Why am I packing anyway? Where am I going?

As I see it, my F2 visa ends on January 15th. I have to get a new visa. I have 2 ways of doing that. Get Min to vouch for me(not going to happen) and renew my visa before I sign the divorce papers ( I run the risk of committing fraud for being divorced and on an F2 visa, or I leave the country and re-enter as a tourist (which cost at least $1000 for airfare and accommodation/food. Or I leave on a $100 and take my chances, on a slow boat to china. OH! Exciting!

I see no reason to be here anymore. The only reason I was here was for her. I was hoping we would go together. We both got tired of waiting for each other years ago.

I hate teaching English. It's a soul-sucking job. It's also very lucrative. But beware of the sucking power. Be aware of how you got to teaching English in the first place. Follow your dreams, if you need something to fall back on, teach English, but get out quick.